A Call in the Morning

"Umeskia kenye imefanyika? Kina mum wametoka kuenda hosi. Mwangi alikuwa kwa accident."

These were the words that I received on Friday morning at 6 AM. As is my usual countenance, I tried to remain calm and composed, convincing myself that God was in control. Friday the 20th was one of those long days of someone's life, that seem to have just flown by. Throughout the day, we (with my family) felt like zombies trying to process the reality, the pain, the comfort from friends and family, the fatigue of hosting, the past memories, the unknown future, the shared moments, the bruised arm, the swollen body, the totaled car, the hole in the wall, peace, weakness, strength . . . It was a deep life experience. Brother's day was yesterday and I couldn't help playing some childhood memories of Mwas and I; even the adult ones, the travels and conversations, all the time looking backward and looking to the unknown forward, thinking with my heart.

Two days later is when we feel as if our minds are coming back to reality. Our hearts have been buoyed by different emotions and now, now they lay in a flood, encompassed by equal reality and hope. There are life experiences that are too deep to put into words; too transformative to leave you the same. You come out of them feeling a host of emotions and thinking a variety of thoughts. You come to know without a doubt that you are not the same person.

It takes an interesting turn to those around you - They react in very unprecedented ways, but all in all, it is a spirit of care, comfort and curiosity. As is Kenyan culture, some ask a myriad of questions incessantly, sometimes during the wrong time. As one is trying to process a shock, their whole body, soul and spirit in in a state of gradual change, a kind of travel to a chasm. It is a natural response. Usually, too many questions only serve to retell and relive moments that the individual is herself trying to come to grasp with. Yet in the answering, one is also dealing with the situation. A strong lesson for me has been "the ministry of presence" in the words of my father: It is best to sit and listen, and take talking cues from the individual who is absorbing shock. Some offer advice, some really practical and good in the long run, some undue and unnecessary in the present moment. Some offer prayers, probably the best solution in my view: For in such life-changing moments, fickle realities are best strengthened by the presence and comfort of God. It is this God who transcends all our life experiences and yet who is immanent at the same time; walking with us in the experiences; providing peace, mercy and strength through the absorption of the shock, that can really piece us together. As an experience forces you to reflect in reality (a stage I am in now), God gives you a bearing for indeed He is the True North in the life compass. Yet, family and friends have been a pillar. Their presence and prayers have gone a long long way to keep us afloat. Africans are really good with community, as they would have it one can go alone and reach quickly but one can go with a friend and reach farther.

Perhaps writing this a day ago, or a week from now will sound different. Probably. Life is like that, a process of change; a journey with unexpected twistings and turnings. Life changes. Life changes and for a human being, what I need is a sure footing in light of all these changes. The LORD remains that sure footing. In His arms, refuge, strength and peace will always be in abundant supply for He changes not. A call in the morning can translate to a talk in the morning with Him; in the daytime and evening. A call can be a place of recalling to prayer and trust. A recalling to real strength and peace, different from our own misconceptions. We come to know God's abiding presence in a deep sense. We see ourselves and others with different eyes.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry.
Advancing this apologetic,
seems unapologetically appropriate.

The inner voice has been stilled,
by another voice deep within.

How can I tell you where I've been?
Or what road I've taken,
what things I've seen?

To bequeath my learnings,
I've ignored my 'other' yearnings,
my pen has been inkless,
unperturbed I've been lost in a journey,
of soul restoration, thought renovation
and life transformation.

A journey I've taken,
to ancient Words, long preserved,
written to adjust
our life here on earth.

Will all pass away?
The doubt of an answer due,
is a result of the eternity hue,
built deep within our humanity cue.

As a clue,
the evidence is glaring,
that I'm sorry isn't sorry enough,
My pen has been without ink.
Some have criticized me of elephants pink,
that my expressions have been.

Yet they know not,
the inner witness within,
that speaks of better things,
than my pen can fashion in between,
birth and death.

Maybe sorry isn't why I write,
Just a Wednesday morning rite,
for me to lay down my thoughts as a writer's right.

Perhaps the passage of time will prove,
that indeed I'm sorry isn't enough,
To make up for a lifetime's un-worth?

Perhaps the quiet,
will speak of better things,
and strive to be heard,
when the soil becomes a home,
so that east or west,
it is best;
beyond life,
then words will continue to be written,
heard, shared, discussed, experienced,
they will remain
to gladden,
to sadden,
to brighten,
to darken,

but the true Word
will forever speak,
and witness for himself,
and our sorries will find real meaning,
on the Calvary cross,
the piece of wood where I'm sorry,
was received for an eternal pardon,
saved, sanctified and glorified,
our journey will find meaning,
when there'll be no more sorries.

What matters?

The National Youth Summit was slated for Thursday the 31^st of January, perhaps to end the first month in style and to reflect on the role the youth can play in developing the nation. Ashoka, East Africa was invited as hosts to tackle the topic of the role the youth can play in social enterprise and the role of young people in country branding. I started interning with Ashoka on Monday the same week, 28^th January, and this was a pleasant opportunity for anyone passionate about leadership and empathy.

The summit brought together youth leaders from all the 47 counties in the country, and hence, effectively the most progressive youth leaders and future leaders of the country, and in their various capacities. The morning sessions comprised mainly of speeches, from various country leaders amongst them the Permanent Secretary in the Ministry of Information and Communications, first president of Seychelles, C.E.O. of Brand Kenya and various other leaders.

The passion for progressive leadership and for the strong patriotism of the country was summarised by the speech by Sir James, first president of Seychelles, who gave a History of Kenya, from the pre-independence days and the hope of envisioning a better country, to the current position of the country, and the new voice of the youth in country development. The flags waved by the delegates were a testament of this.

I could not help but take my mind back to those days. I was sure that there were progressive people then, just as there are today. I keep on wondering what then has prevented us from greatness, as a country. Perhaps as a country we don’t see how everyone has a part to play in this nation building process, or most importantly, there have not been sustainable platforms so that we build up on past successes instead of re-inventing the wheel and downplaying the synergy required for this process to be successful.

On the other hand, we have a bunch of Kenyans who have the ‘big’ opportunities, who’ve received quality education and who have the skills to bring this change but their efforts are not leveraged to bring this change. As one of the Kenyans in this group, the summit challenged me to think of what I am doing to spread this change making spirit to the rest of Kenyans, to my friends and family.

The youth venture of the office supports a group of ‘younger fellows’ who are effecting change in their community. Of interest were 2 youth: Tabitha who is a 14 year old girl, was saddened by the rate of accidents and fatalities affecting small children on traffic roads in the country, and went ahead with the help of her head teacher and area chief, to create a traffic signs literacy program for children her age; Jarvis, a 18 year old budding change maker, realized that the youth in his area were energetic but spent their energy on other unnecessary activities, and decided to engage them in using hands and crafts to create artistic products, and is currently working on expanding his market so that his project can be self-sustaining, with the help of his mentor.

THESE are the stories which make my heart skip a bit. THESE stories are the ones that matter, and THESE stories are the ones we need to keep on telling. If not, then our efforts should be to create our own stories such as this, ones that make our world a better place, one that challenges our human resources and mental resources that we have, ones that can draw the attention of the wider audience on contributing to development, wherever they are and with the little/much that they have.

Yesterday I was challenged beyond words, and I realize that we can always do more wherever we are. There are no excuses, and the possibilities have no limits. The great success stories presently and in the past, as well as the future, were / are and will continue to be crafted by people who do things differently. People who strive to defy odds. People who create change wherever they are. These ‘linchpins’ are very much individuals who are of value in their organizations, communities and to the world, and they bring flavour to this otherwise drab world. I am happy that I am part of a network of such individuals and I hope that we can continue to collaborate and to co-create solutions that will change this world, for the better. Let that be our calling, and let us never get tired of spreading this message.

These hardened hearts

These hardened hearts, they know of lead only,

These hearts are not smart,

To distinguish between right or wrong,

Morality is as fleeting as a goose,

Their life situations,

Live them hanging by a noose,

In the face of temptations,

They are drawn and falter by the two's,

Lack of empathy, lack of compassion.

Now back to the story of lead,

they hold those cold barrels,

And frequently cock the barrel,

"lala chini" and "hiyo ndio baridi"

they exhort with mean faces.

These hardened hearts, they know of lead only,

lacking in other traces,

They gather and scatter,

they gather on these nights,

and they scatter once they terrorize.

They turn a blind eye,

or so it seems,

to the whims familiar with the victims,

they hear no silenced cries,

they smell only money and material possessions,

they kick, punch, and scuffle for their fleeting 'rights'

Every victim a shilling away to diminishing their plight.

Is this right?

Is this right that they are doing this?

Is it right that we turn a blind eye?

That we act as if our lives offer us an escape from this daunting reality?

But you see, reality is relative,

And these brothers and sisters are our distant relatives,

We need to put an end to this food chain,

Because there is too much at stake - pain,

These hardened hearts, they know of lead only,

These hardened hearts, we need to soften.

A continuing dialogue

When I am naked,
in the close recesses of my mind,
when i am bare,
without cloth,
or corrupted thought,
I think. I think a lot.

I find myself here in this green earth,
this fertile land of mud huts and fertile green,
the natural motherland bearing fruit.
plus two five four, tells my story.
I tell this story to search for myself,
I see myself in you.

I am the voice of Dedan.
I am the voice of Tom Mboya.
I am the voice of mama Africa.
Look at me. Listen.

Your fore-fathers did not fight for this land with efforts futile,
and when they were laid to rest, they still rest in this soil-fertile,
fertile with the strength and courage hidden deep,
deep inside the souls of the true inheritance that we want to keep,
keeping a concealed realization that we ought to carry the flame,
voice our speech so that our ears can pay attention,
to the messages intended to chase away the tension,
of getting lost in today's world, the material flame,
it burns degrees, and it destroys the place we call home.
We look at you, and we hid warnings.
You can do better.
Always.

I find myself here in this green earth,
this fertile land of mud huts and fertile green.
Of dust too.
And the big five.
This is the place I call home.
Remember to carry your weapons, whatever they may be.
Blunt knives. Clenched feasts. AK's and 9 mm's.
This is still the rebellion!
I speak metaphorically, in the real sense I mean carry your wisdom.
That is the only weapon we trully need.
To sift the unwanted weeds,
to plant the much needed seed.

I mean to say this is a war.
We might win a few battles,
but the war remains a reality.
Slavery and slave ships,
money, cars and clothes in the 'babylon' system,
symbolizing false pretenses and warped illusions,
thats why I detest them.
Thats why I stick to my guns.
My guns are of pure conscience.
My bullets are made of love,
ask material science.
Or metaphysics,
she might enlighten you with some few years,
to peruse the past and stumble upon some truth.

Yet again,
they will ask you those questions,
like . . . what did you live for?
what do you want to die for?

My heart is in my home.
Neither East nor West.
My true allegiance is for progression.
Of the world.
and of my people.
My brother and sister.
Tredding this earth.
We have to spread the message of love.
Before its too late for facebook
or handles.

Mean Averages.

These words, they mean much,
When the equals and additions are calculated,
the average leaves you craving unabated,
for better words and better pictures,
3D vision behind those goggles,
and you might even google the words, Picasso,
at times you yearn for good music,
Gershwin,
compose compositions to reach lofty heights,
perhaps even push and shove,
for your metaphors to be exposed,
or to conduct an expose on your subliminal thoughts,
characters and persona hidden deep inside your thoughts,
different experiences and worldviews,
nature and nurtured into your self expression.
Let your soul explode and your heart to be mindful,
of who you are and what you like,
what you strive should be more to life,
behind the 1st impressions and common strife,
to find more meaning to what this life,
its beauty and magnificence sprawling wide,
look into the sky and nature and you will find,
the mathematical equations and natural music of the wild,
and the binding juice that is finding truce,
I mean inner peace and truth,
of real happiness and in depth fulfilment.
I train my brain to be ambiguous,
to live without confinement,
to the baseless norms and 'refinements',
that clog the brain and kill the nervous bombardment,
I reference the nervous system,
As it is the heart of the body,
to the left to the left, and to the right of the left,
ambidextrous natures tend to 'change the world'
leaving us with legacies to share among generations.
"I want to be like you when I grow up", we say
Then we hibernate in our cocoons as if to say
the price . . . we cannot pay.
What we need in actuality,
is to stray from the practicality,
of the easy way out,
break the norms and be above average,
1st percentile quarters should be our aim,
for what we have inside us is a gold mine,
and a small little flame which can light stronger,
we say "haba na haba hujaza kibaba" -
a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step,
into the cosmic possibilities of our internal galaxy,
many moons we hope to see,
and we hope archeology can dig out the hidden treasures,
to merge the present and the past,
the dark shadows to uncast,
from our mental casts that trap our broken brains,
more of untested brains,
stretch the envelope of oblangata,
and free yourself to thought.
Oh happy I am for finfing the keys,
to the doors of unlimited opportunities and capabilities,
in front of me and inside of me. You too.
You too.
These words, they mean much.
They will upgrade your average into something mean-ingful.

Two Three

The enigma of twenty three,
The Arecibo message to my extraterrestrial matter,
Rebel with a cause, look up conscientious objectors,
Meaning I believe in me, so far,
two's and three's into perfect fives,
meaning my life in me, is destined to survive,
meaning my life in me, is destined for greatness,
that is the story of me, no second guesses,
that is the story of you, deep down in hidden places,
I done fight many wars, I done defied many laws,
so to speak, or maybe conversated with many Toms,
Dick has never spoke, but Harry is always in a hurry,
to speak what i want to speak, as if he's stealing my speech,
This is the world I live in - of generosity,
Because we are cut from the same fabric,
Different textures, coarse or fine stones like the titanic,
we even walked in two's to overflow the floods, Noah's arc,
we drink from the same cup, and feed into the same conscious,
we defy death of spirit, and rise to our own believing,
Hope is all we have, and a strong belief of progressing,
We fight the odds, and even
it out so that we are all at the same start,
I had a conversation with my mental and signed a pact,
that i would at all times and situations play a part,
in these world of many stages like Shakespeare purposed,
I let my words thunder and pour out abundance,
At times I sit and listen, and observe my environment.

The enigma of twenty three,
This is your turn to speak through your mind that wants to speech,
these are the tools of trade of any human being,
plus a heart of feeling to sustain our life being,
to unlock padlocks strengthened to steal,
our gems and inner steel,
to just survive and be still,
OR to soar, these skins to unpeal,
these souls to reveal,
these backward whims to kill,
these hidden dreams to fulfil,
I look back and happy I feel,
I have treaded many valleys and still,
His rod has seen me through many ills,
His staff has signed the same bill,
to petition my case full of thrill,
Malaria when I was little, almost lost my eye this year,
Fee stealing fiends feeding us fear,
their price to pay, oh so dear!
My vision remains ever clear,
My penchant for purpose without fear,
I bump my fists and shout oh yea!
I thank God for a really good ear.

Seeing the guns . . .

The past week's events have been one of the most awakening experiences in my life. I am still pondering on the lessons to be learnt from that. The first was during a soccer game, the game was in the first half, the legs have just warmed up, the passes are neat, some disappointing. In a split second, the ball is in the air and I make a dash for it. As we are jostling for the ball, the other player kicks me with the boots in my eye. PAIN. Then I theatrically roll around the ground, {screaming I think} and I remember one of the players coming and asking "imegeuka?" - Swahili for, "has it turned?" I remember praying so hard that the minute I would remove my hand from my face, I would be able to see well. A few days later and some eye drops did the trick. I almost lost my eye, all in the name of a soccer game which I am so passionate about.

Have you ever thought about the people who are blind? What sort of experience is it? What do they gain? How do they view eyesight? Or perhaps, someone without legs. . . Does it change who they are? Do these things really matter? Could you do without them? What would happen if you would loose them? What would matter then to you?

The second was a robbery at gunpoint {though we have this feeling those were toy guns, but I don't like being overly courageous :-) }. The jokes aside, in that surreal moment, lying on the ground, and our rights/dignity being oppressed, our possessions being taken by force, I prayed too. I can't recall exactly what was going through my mind, but I was asking for life. Only. Just, life. That was all that mattered to me at that point.

God is good. The way in which this last ordeal ended up was a bright light in a dark tunnel. I still had the keys to the car in my pocket. I still had my wallet. No one was hurt. Everyone was alive and breathing. I don't remember being fearful. I remember having a lot of Faith that the situation would end well.

I sit here, looking at my screen, screening my thoughts, looking for my two cents of words. All I have is my mind, my health - myself. When the rubber meets the road, and it eventually does, what will matter is the quality of life we will have led. Not materially. Never. People, memories, experiences, laughs, tears, passions - these will matter. I think this week has been a test. A very intensifying one. How much am I willing to stand up for the things I do? Am I doing enough to be the best me? Have my talents/strengths been exhausted? Have yours? What are we waiting for?

I am soon arming myself with a violin. Music has been a long time passion of mine. I am taking the steps into this journey that I have been postponing for a very long time. Football till my legs cannot move. Sharing my experiences with other people and being the person who I would want other people to be. I want to express myself a bit more. I need to do the things that I love, more often. All the time. I want to be alive and make the most of these breaths. Some experiences happen for a reason they say. I haven't experienced so much yet. So much. Let's recollect those bad memories in the past. The fearful ones, the sad ones, the times we were brought down to our knees . . . Was there something worth learning there? And even so, let's not focus tooooo much on the past, or the future. How are we dealing with that now?

"Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow."

In the spirit of positivity: “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” - Eckhart Tolle

Dialogue in the near future

Son: "Mom, can you teach me a folk song?
I hear our great grand parents liked humming them,
and waking up with a jembe and a basket in the a.m.
early in the morning to sow seeds into the earth,
is it why you wake up and go to work after the morning bath?
and you come home so tired and downcast,
is that hasty-ness part of the culture?
that was engrained in you by the fore-fathers?
I also hear. . .
Is it true that they killed each other with pangas and fires?
All because of skin color and different attires?
Were they that unconscious of their own reality?
Because they were caught up in small trivial matters?
or were they drawn to the flesh, as a confirmation of their bestiality?
I hear that arts and music were dis-merited, like clothes with tatters. . .
Was the world that lacking in our Kenyan vitality?
And teacher taught us about Jomo Kenyatta,
and Dedan Kimathi and one Tom Mboya,
he said that they were our heroes and brought a light to the manyatta-
A symbol of our culture which with new-found independence
she said,
would bring us good harvest and freedom of self-reliance,
and  then on the news I see a black man fighting in defiance,
as if he did not get a piece of this promised independence cake,
or do I take it to mean that we still have our own rights to take?
as if we are to fight our own individual wars?
I thought that the MAU MAU fought for our humanity that was at stake?
Or was it just a series of battles, won but only for the pause?
And now we have vultures, pressing play without a pause,
playing the same game that the other team was playing,
Mom is it just the same people behind this veil?
And why do so many people seem so frail?
As if their bodies are too weak, to find a way to the peak?
I look at them and they seem so dead, gazing aimlessly as if they have nothing to speak. . .
Mom, when you were young did you ask these questions?
Is it what the old people ask, while surviving on their last pension?
I thought they say time will tell, that's what the old people say,
but old people live in the past, so what would a time machine say?

Mom: (in hushed mummers) "you are too young to understand"

Self giving

I know you missed me. I have been silent. Blame it on adjusting to the Kenyan life and realities. I am back to my motherland, where we have the big five and apparently, "primitive energy" according to some Korean airlines :-) I have been absorbing my trip to Hungary and what I learnt there. Actually this is my first post since I came back.

I am reaching a stage in my life where I want to believe in actions more than words. I mean to say "getting my hands dirty". This kind of defeats my writing attempts, however, my reasons are valid. That said, I have decided to write today to keep you abreast of my most recent thoughts in the hope that through my offerings, I will get to find something that is hidden deep inside me and hopefully find that much needed action.

I will share briefly on giving ourselves to others. We should share ourselves to others because it is the ultimate form of giving, first and foremost. Also, it is a kind gesture and makes the people around us happy. Self-giving, when genuine, offers our best talents/strengths/abilities to others, and hence it also builds us obviously, and most importantly that means we are true to ourselves and others by extension. In this life we chase after so many things. I have a full list on that. As much as my pen usually is eager to tick on these goals, what I have seen matter to me most and given me the most joy was when I was able to share my skills to enable someone else tick their goals. Ideally, if we don't share and we all seclude ourselves permanently to our own selves, then we just remain in islands that are far-fetched.

If the ideal situation is for everyone to be happy, then that means we have to contribute to the happiness of someone else.

What are you doing?

I just watched a video (TEDx: Stephanie Nyombayire - Fighting Poverty, Wars and Famines), which got me a few thoughts to ponder on. Go ahead and look at it when you have the time.

What are we doing today to change our current state/conditions? Everyone here in this world has their own sort of complaints, and issues which they are not comfortable with. Well most people. When we think about these issues, who do we expect to fix them? When do we expect them to be fixed? And we talk a lot. I do. We talk about anything and everything, both young and old people alike. When does the talking/complaining give way to some actual actions? These group of people are even the minority.

The vast majority of humans are caught up and "distracted" by so many things that they even have no idea of the REAL issues. What do I mean when I say real issues? Oh real issues are those things that take humanity back, or societies {humanity sounds so grande, we'll probably need a chuck Norris on that one}. And you know them, they are not that far away. I won't even speak about them because the sort of audience that reads these posts, knows better.

My point: What are we doing now, to make that step? The generalisation here in Hungary is that people are pessimistic, but I think that generalisation applies to the whole world. We complain. And if we don't, we talk. And then we find someone to blame. Then we go back to where it all started. Then it becomes an impoverishing cycle. We need to take control of our lives. We need to stop this mediocrity now. We need to care. We need to come together and help one another to see these concerns addressed. Do something. No matter how small it is.

As I close, I was looking for a Mahatma Gandhi quote that I came across, but its hiding. I will paraphrase: The fruits of our actions isn't what really matters or the outcomes either. We have to do the right thing, now. What matters is that we do the right thing now.

It goes something like that.

Let us just stop for once thinking too much, and do the right thing. For our sake, and everyone else's.

This light of mine

This light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine,
shine so bright so that I will have great dines,
so bright that we will see through the night,
in these days of 'bad' times,
I will speak up for the meek,
so that we can see how long our streak,
of winning and shining,
of greatness and relentless,
sugar and everything nice,
Is.

This light of mine,
I am going to go to the ends,
to find the true meaning of shine,
to speak good words to everything mine,
to create and invent,
a new bright world,
to walk where there are no treads,
to help keep our heads where they ought to be.
In the right place,
to widen our space,
our vision and eyesight,
to see where there are no sites,
to illuminate the boxes,
with which at times we are forced to stick in,
Because everything is a stage,
where we ought to play our parts,
not chase after skirts,
and small material matters,
but the real things in life,
where we minimize the strife,
and live for better days.

We only live once,
I hope that everyone will find their stance,
and light their candles,
the worst that could happen,
is that the other candles light only brighter,
so we can guarantee a better future.

This light of mine,
I want to let it shine so bright.

Will you choose to be different?

“Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient.

An artist is an individual who creates art. The more people you change, the more you change them, the more effective your art is.”

Sit in tight for this one, and I kindly ask for open-mindedness.

Now, how many of you don’t like school? For what reasons don’t you like it? Or say, doing jobs for instance? Perhaps, ‘boring’ people? Why?

I remember reading a book about left-handedness a while back, see here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left-handedness and apparently how it is associated with creativity. I also remembered how when we are young some people are almost beaten and warned not to use their left hands. In other words, stop being different. Stop being creative.

Back to my previous questions. You know why you and I hate routine? It’s because it brings the same things to the table. It’s because it kills creativity, passion, it kills being brave and being bold, and it kills the very essence that we live for – To be ourselves. Being ourselves means expressing ourselves. Expressing ourselves is being artistic. Being artistic is offering your best, being at your best at all times. That means greater impact on the people around you because when you are good at something, and passionate about it, people see it. People react to it positively, and it challenges them to be artistic. It encourages them to share their gifts with the world, and we hence end up making the world a better place. A happier place.

With the onset of capitalism came an emphasis on money. Having money is great. I wouldn’t have this blog up if I didn’t have this laptop with which I am typing all this. I wouldn’t be able to share my art without money. It’s a means to an end. And what is the end? I am sure it is finding our purpose(s) i.e. finding what we are good at and being the very best at it. Also known as, being artists.

Art is not drawing only. Art is not musical tunes or paintbrushes only. Art is innovation, passion, boldness, creativity and purpose. Art is that waiter who goes out of their way to make sure that the customer is smiling. Art is not a cook. Art is a chef, who in a situation of risk and adventure creates their own recipe. Art is being different. Artists are people you want around when there is no manual to do things. Art is what makes the world go round, and Artists will forever command our attention, whether we like them or not. In short, Art is the ultimate expression of our true selves, when we are ourselves and when we are in a creative and high-energy mood.

·    The most important thing is that eventually art rewards itself and the artist. It is usually ‘best served’ free, with a lot of passion and energy. It usually changes the way we live in a better way and makes the world a whole lot better place. Kindly go ahead and be that artist you have been destined to be. That is your purpose.

Yours friendly.

My Public Service Announcement

{It is now 4:05 AM in Szeged, Hungary. I woke up an hour ago to go to the toilet and for the past hour I have been THINKING. Thinking a lot. This is some of it . . .}


Matters Spirituality
I believe in a supreme being, and that supreme being is God. I believe in God because his qualities (whether proven or not) I want to aspire to or they give me inspiration. If you think about your personal heroes, they would not compare to God in terms of their character. I wanted to update my status as "Before you judge, Before you complain, Before you regret, Before you make a choice . . . EVERYTHING is a choice. EVERYTHING. You need to believe in your choices." I consider myself highly. Its good, it gives me confidence in the choices I make and in what I believe in. But it also makes me self-centred and a bit selfish. One of the chief reasons I believe in God, is because it makes me humble. It makes me humble enough to make me to want to learn about other people. To be compassionate. To love (cc: conscious love). It makes me humble enough to think about others, which brings me to . . . 


The reason why I live/write
Some say I talk too much. Others say that I write good things that make them want to be better. Others have no idea who I am. Others just don't really care ENOUGH. I might still meet more people. Others might never get to know me or will never even have a clue of who I am. All that is good. I do what I can and I do what I believe is the right thing to do. I live to share my story and the story of others. That I think is my purpose {up to now :-)}. You can also say it embodies a sense of leadership. Actually you can call it very many things. 


I write because I believe in the power of words. I write because I seek to be a voice for those who cannot speak up. I blog because I believe in the power of the internet and how it can change people in a wider audience. I feel very deeply about exchanging ideas because I believe in the power of learning. I am not afraid to make mistakes, and when I write, I write to hope to learn. I write so that I can challenge your thinking and through your feedback, you can challenge mine. I do all this so that we can find our similarities that can bring us together to do GREAT THINGS and to appreciate and BE AWARE OF our differences and to ask WHY?


This is my purpose and I will do it ceaselessly.


The Guardian.

This life of mine

Today, this very second. . . 


I write just because I feel like writing.
In this journey of mine, 
I have taken steps of courage,
I have taken steps with my heart and with my mind,
In this journey of mine,
I have chosen to feel,
I am alive.


I am alive because I have come across many crossroads,
I have seen so many faces and I have taken many corners and U-turns,
I have been on the edge,
I kicked a ball yesterday when I was flirting with football,
My "one true love",
And just like that I felt a rush of strong emotion,
I choose to do the things I love,
To read, to learn, to connect, to share my passion,
To share my life with my friends irrespective,
To feel what it feels to be someone else apart from me,
To observe my surroundings
and see the beautiful butterflies,
to hear the chirping birds,
to talk with the daunting dogs,
to see the swaying pine trees,
I dream of places,
Places far and wide, out of my comfort zone,
and I embrace that feeling of the unknown,
Because through that adrenaline,
I am able to focus on the things that matter to me most,
I feel people make a lot of decisions in life,
and we end up thinking and not living,
but lets for a second think about what we love,
this very moment,
forget about the "what if's?"
forget about what is "right or wrong"
forget whether other people are watching,
forget the rest except yourself,
do the things that you love to do,
Connect with the people around you,
Appreciate your life in all its perfections and imperfections,
Live to live.


Passion, Motivation and the journey.


That is what we are all in this for. Together.

maisha Architecture. . . A new way of life.

What kind of vision do you see for Kenya? For Africa? I say Africa deliberately because it is our motherland. I believe everything happens for a reason and hence we are not here to pass time, lament and continue tirelessly to harness our potentials blindly. We need to be very careful, and very intent.

At times I almost shed tears. My eyes are watery, mainly because of the picture painted about Africa. I am sad because of the negativity synonymous with our continent. At times I cry because we continue to dig ourselves pits that I know one day we will get out of. All this is partly because we are not proud of who we are, and no one can stand up for us as a people. Everything would be pointed down to leadership, if you look at this situation critically. And at this point then, we would have to ask ourselves who leaders are? Leaders are you and me - Leaders are the people in our societies who are privileged and who people look up to. By extension then leaders are the people in charge of public institutions, people who offer public services such as education, healthcare, policies and utilities. In Africa, all these institutions have failed. Miserably. They can barely keep up with the bare minimum of our expectations. The saddest thing is that it has robbed most of us our dignity, our voice of hope and lead-strong will of ambition. Worse still, everyone seems to be telling only THIS story - They only focus on what's wrong.

What would you be with only those 'bad' stories told about you? Would it describe you as a whole person or would it be just part of you. What then are we without our good and bad? What are the kind of stories that are only told from one perspective? What becomes of us then when we are only forced to think in one line of thought? Forced to follow a certain system?

Why do we not tell the stories of Heroes and Heroines? Brave acts of selflessness and strong characters and personas both in the present and in the past. Why do we not tell about Tom Mboya? Why do we not here more about young people, young Africans, creating change? About good case practices of good governance and accountability? Why not have daily conversations about our dreams and our ambitions? About the pictures that we paint, and those frames that we hide deep in our closets? About William Kakwamba who harnessed the power of the wind? About great business start-ups in the continent? Success? Hope? Love? Passion? Why should we keep silent about these?

My own perspective is that leadership matters. It matters a lot especially in places where our leaders are not responsible for their actions. Where we cannot even depend on them . . . So are you willing to become a leader? Are you willing to go out of your way to mentor? Are you willing to do something in your own capacity to make a change? Or are you willing to close your eyes, blame everything negative on other people and only take an account when things are all rosy?

At the end of the day, we will be older. We will pass on the baton to the younger generation to drive our societies and make strides. What kind of picture do you want to see then? We are those people now - It is our time, now than it might ever be. We have to look at these things straight in the face and provide solutions. More importantly, we need to protect those that are younger in mind, from these false pretenses, these negativities and instead, light up their candles, give them a slight nudge and make them feel like they can be all that they want to be. We need to create an atmosphere for them, where they will feel comfortable and appreciated. Where their dreams will count. We need to mentor them to uplift their dreams and hopes. We will want them to be so sure of themselves so that they don't need to go outside the country to look for greener pastures because Africa is the greenest. There is food. There are resources. There is abundance of diversity. There is a strong will and determination to defy the odds. It is our motherland.

Embrace yourselves as we take this journey because it will not be easy. We need to be strong, and sure of what we envision. Welcome to maisha architecture :-)

a bit more humanity. . .

I sit and ponder. I am all alone in this room. The ipod is on shuffle and at this moment there is some soft house music playing in the distant background. The walls seem bigger today, and I feel as if there is more to aspire for - Considering especially the tall roof. I think I am grasping the hush gradually now. I think I have limited myself, sort of. Hard to believe, but I think that's usually the chief cause of monotony, which I have been feeling quite a bit of late. Limiting myself in terms of dreams and aspirations. At times we do that - we limit our thoughts towards only one direction and we fail to reach the unthinkable because of that. We haven't usually thought that far.


It sounds very ungrounded but let's get it right. I have always thought big. I actually have a t-shirt on with "the next big thing" splashed on the front - And you can bet on that entandre {I think my ego is too big at times - I think it makes up for some things}. Anyway, I was saying - I have been feeling stagnant of late and so I have gotten this imaginary detective spectacles to solve that mystery. One of the easiest ways I have found to solve this problem in the past has been to go somewhere I can do some self - reflection. Last weekend I had some of that, although accompanied by a bunch of very interesting peoples to fourteen falls - true to the word there was a lot of falling and swimming, see some comments for further details. 


Just read a quote "You should travel to somewhere new at least once a year". New places seem to have this voice that almost challenges you to be adventurous and try out something different. But also, more often than not, we go to these places with our friends. That is my point. Being around people reminds you of being simply human. Around other people, you get to be stupid and silly, you get to have the most stimulating intellectual conversations and you get to learn different characters, moods and personalities. So I am pledging to be more human for the next few weeks. In that respect I will:

• Take a trip to shagz (rural area) and bond with the older folk - Also to have some peace and clean, pure oxygen.
• Listen to people on a deeper level, resonate with them a bit more. Really working on that because at times its usually very easy for me to hum some tunes when talking to some people. I am not perfect.
• Breathe deeply, and think good thoughts.
• Take daily sabbaticals - Spend a few minutes each day to come up with a daily mantra of sorts. Something small that I will be pondering each day to give myself some renewed focus (Today's was on "learning to say no gracefully").

I will let you know how all that goes. Besides that, I am celebrating each of you. You keep me thinking progressively. Oh, and do enjoy your week. 

HUSH

Embrace the silence. We always wait for something big to happen, some sort of chaos or drama. Some form of explosion to get you excited and carelessly cry out aha! As if you know all the answers. Today I think of why we do what we do, and why we believe so much in some things and less in others. This great thing called life always keeps us guessing. We never quite figure it out, and what I have learnt in the few years I have been kicking, is that we don't always have the answers - Because if we actually did, we would lose the meaning of life. . . So embrace the silence :-)

I have been in a very docile state in the past few weeks. I have been feeling as if nothing much has been going on, because there is no explosion! I mean, it feels like there is nothing much going on. I guess over the past few weeks I have shifted my focus a bit, and that is taking some time to adjust and actually click in my head. I am slowly figuring out the silence. Its been there before, and its just a matter of time before I realize the reason and I blurt out an aha! That's how it is. When we look at some moments in our past life, only then do we see the true meaning of each of those micro-specs of events in retrospect. They all seem to fit in quite perfectly. The next time you don't sense a big bang coming your way, breathe deep and embrace silence. Its your quiet way of figuring it all out. We all get the answers eventually, and then we learn from each of those experiences.

 Eat. Breathe. Smile.

Round a round we go

"My thoughts and prayers go out to Perez, and all other affected AIESECers including their families and my neighbor whose house was burned down"

My 2 days have been very worrisome. Fatalities have just hit near home. In life some things happen that live you pondering, especially if you are melancholic like I am. I tend to get very introspective with little stimuli and when you are with people for 10 days in a gathering and they get involved in an accident resulting in one fatality, you tend to ask why?

I was planning to go to the j-town for one of those familiar shenanigans. Just before I leave, my mum tells me to drive her to the airport to pick up a visitor. On the way there she receives a phone call from one of her friends in the neighborhood and you can hear her wailing and screaming, and my mum tries to console her. Apparently, there was a huge fire in one of the buildings, about 4 houses up. Close enough to home.

Misfortunes are a trademark to life, and we suffer small doses of that at times. Yet again, it shows me how fragile life is. I mean, that must have been years' worth of investment and it took less than 30 minutes to disintegrate it. Back to my other story, the accident involved some of my friends-People who are super great leaders in their own right. I begin to think of the consequences that the loss would have on their countries and it’s a bit over my head, not only in terms of leadership but also psychologically for the team. I have been in a 10 day conference for AIESEC, and some of the delegates were headed for the coast for a study tour just after the conclusion of the annual International conference. There was an accident on the early morning of 30th August. The conference was super awesome and the end equally tragic as if we hadn't had the time of our lives. In retrospect, the 10days will be a hallmark in my life - it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.

That is life. One major thought in my mind has been that there has to be something greater and more satisfying than material things. . . Because clearly those can go any moment. Secondly, life is vain. 2 things I have concluded are:

• No matter where you are at, and what you are doing - Make sure you enjoy every moment.
• Do your very best, and live as if it were your last day.

That said, my belief is that we shall all realize that we live once, and that we will live for something bigger than our own selves. 

Believe in something | Fall for nothing

Inspired by "We all try"

I believe in God. I believe in progressive people. I believe in passion, happiness, humility, contentment, calmness and love. I believe in constant improvement. I believe in imperfection. Life is not perfect. I do believe there are some people who don’t want others to progress. I believe that there are good people. I believe in genuine friendships and true love. I believe in my family. I believe that life is not always simple. I believe that true happiness in life comes from intangible things. I believe that material things don't generate long lasting happiness. I believe that everyone deserves to be lost to find themselves. I believe that in life I have to make  a conscious effort to live. I believe that that there is a 'Heaven'. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we all have to live passionately. I believe that everyone is confused. I believe that we all have our frustrations and imperfections. I believe that we live our lives ultimately to find meaning and find answers. I believe that believing in something gives us comfort. I believe that we are all afraid . I believe that we are all afraid of uncertainty. I believe that at times I don’t believe in anything. I believe that I doubt myself at times. I believe that I live life fully. I believe I try to make things better. I believe that I have a good heart. I believe that we are all emotional beings. I believe that I am living an imprint. I believe that people are different. I believe that we don’t always have the answers. I believe that I don’t always know what I want. I believe that I appreciate both sides of the coin. I believe that I am aware of most things. I believe in myself. I believe in my friends. We all try to believe in something.