A continuing dialogue

When I am naked,
in the close recesses of my mind,
when i am bare,
without cloth,
or corrupted thought,
I think. I think a lot.

I find myself here in this green earth,
this fertile land of mud huts and fertile green,
the natural motherland bearing fruit.
plus two five four, tells my story.
I tell this story to search for myself,
I see myself in you.

I am the voice of Dedan.
I am the voice of Tom Mboya.
I am the voice of mama Africa.
Look at me. Listen.

Your fore-fathers did not fight for this land with efforts futile,
and when they were laid to rest, they still rest in this soil-fertile,
fertile with the strength and courage hidden deep,
deep inside the souls of the true inheritance that we want to keep,
keeping a concealed realization that we ought to carry the flame,
voice our speech so that our ears can pay attention,
to the messages intended to chase away the tension,
of getting lost in today's world, the material flame,
it burns degrees, and it destroys the place we call home.
We look at you, and we hid warnings.
You can do better.
Always.

I find myself here in this green earth,
this fertile land of mud huts and fertile green.
Of dust too.
And the big five.
This is the place I call home.
Remember to carry your weapons, whatever they may be.
Blunt knives. Clenched feasts. AK's and 9 mm's.
This is still the rebellion!
I speak metaphorically, in the real sense I mean carry your wisdom.
That is the only weapon we trully need.
To sift the unwanted weeds,
to plant the much needed seed.

I mean to say this is a war.
We might win a few battles,
but the war remains a reality.
Slavery and slave ships,
money, cars and clothes in the 'babylon' system,
symbolizing false pretenses and warped illusions,
thats why I detest them.
Thats why I stick to my guns.
My guns are of pure conscience.
My bullets are made of love,
ask material science.
Or metaphysics,
she might enlighten you with some few years,
to peruse the past and stumble upon some truth.

Yet again,
they will ask you those questions,
like . . . what did you live for?
what do you want to die for?

My heart is in my home.
Neither East nor West.
My true allegiance is for progression.
Of the world.
and of my people.
My brother and sister.
Tredding this earth.
We have to spread the message of love.
Before its too late for facebook
or handles.

Mean Averages.

These words, they mean much,
When the equals and additions are calculated,
the average leaves you craving unabated,
for better words and better pictures,
3D vision behind those goggles,
and you might even google the words, Picasso,
at times you yearn for good music,
Gershwin,
compose compositions to reach lofty heights,
perhaps even push and shove,
for your metaphors to be exposed,
or to conduct an expose on your subliminal thoughts,
characters and persona hidden deep inside your thoughts,
different experiences and worldviews,
nature and nurtured into your self expression.
Let your soul explode and your heart to be mindful,
of who you are and what you like,
what you strive should be more to life,
behind the 1st impressions and common strife,
to find more meaning to what this life,
its beauty and magnificence sprawling wide,
look into the sky and nature and you will find,
the mathematical equations and natural music of the wild,
and the binding juice that is finding truce,
I mean inner peace and truth,
of real happiness and in depth fulfilment.
I train my brain to be ambiguous,
to live without confinement,
to the baseless norms and 'refinements',
that clog the brain and kill the nervous bombardment,
I reference the nervous system,
As it is the heart of the body,
to the left to the left, and to the right of the left,
ambidextrous natures tend to 'change the world'
leaving us with legacies to share among generations.
"I want to be like you when I grow up", we say
Then we hibernate in our cocoons as if to say
the price . . . we cannot pay.
What we need in actuality,
is to stray from the practicality,
of the easy way out,
break the norms and be above average,
1st percentile quarters should be our aim,
for what we have inside us is a gold mine,
and a small little flame which can light stronger,
we say "haba na haba hujaza kibaba" -
a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step,
into the cosmic possibilities of our internal galaxy,
many moons we hope to see,
and we hope archeology can dig out the hidden treasures,
to merge the present and the past,
the dark shadows to uncast,
from our mental casts that trap our broken brains,
more of untested brains,
stretch the envelope of oblangata,
and free yourself to thought.
Oh happy I am for finfing the keys,
to the doors of unlimited opportunities and capabilities,
in front of me and inside of me. You too.
You too.
These words, they mean much.
They will upgrade your average into something mean-ingful.

Two Three

The enigma of twenty three,
The Arecibo message to my extraterrestrial matter,
Rebel with a cause, look up conscientious objectors,
Meaning I believe in me, so far,
two's and three's into perfect fives,
meaning my life in me, is destined to survive,
meaning my life in me, is destined for greatness,
that is the story of me, no second guesses,
that is the story of you, deep down in hidden places,
I done fight many wars, I done defied many laws,
so to speak, or maybe conversated with many Toms,
Dick has never spoke, but Harry is always in a hurry,
to speak what i want to speak, as if he's stealing my speech,
This is the world I live in - of generosity,
Because we are cut from the same fabric,
Different textures, coarse or fine stones like the titanic,
we even walked in two's to overflow the floods, Noah's arc,
we drink from the same cup, and feed into the same conscious,
we defy death of spirit, and rise to our own believing,
Hope is all we have, and a strong belief of progressing,
We fight the odds, and even
it out so that we are all at the same start,
I had a conversation with my mental and signed a pact,
that i would at all times and situations play a part,
in these world of many stages like Shakespeare purposed,
I let my words thunder and pour out abundance,
At times I sit and listen, and observe my environment.

The enigma of twenty three,
This is your turn to speak through your mind that wants to speech,
these are the tools of trade of any human being,
plus a heart of feeling to sustain our life being,
to unlock padlocks strengthened to steal,
our gems and inner steel,
to just survive and be still,
OR to soar, these skins to unpeal,
these souls to reveal,
these backward whims to kill,
these hidden dreams to fulfil,
I look back and happy I feel,
I have treaded many valleys and still,
His rod has seen me through many ills,
His staff has signed the same bill,
to petition my case full of thrill,
Malaria when I was little, almost lost my eye this year,
Fee stealing fiends feeding us fear,
their price to pay, oh so dear!
My vision remains ever clear,
My penchant for purpose without fear,
I bump my fists and shout oh yea!
I thank God for a really good ear.

Seeing the guns . . .

The past week's events have been one of the most awakening experiences in my life. I am still pondering on the lessons to be learnt from that. The first was during a soccer game, the game was in the first half, the legs have just warmed up, the passes are neat, some disappointing. In a split second, the ball is in the air and I make a dash for it. As we are jostling for the ball, the other player kicks me with the boots in my eye. PAIN. Then I theatrically roll around the ground, {screaming I think} and I remember one of the players coming and asking "imegeuka?" - Swahili for, "has it turned?" I remember praying so hard that the minute I would remove my hand from my face, I would be able to see well. A few days later and some eye drops did the trick. I almost lost my eye, all in the name of a soccer game which I am so passionate about.

Have you ever thought about the people who are blind? What sort of experience is it? What do they gain? How do they view eyesight? Or perhaps, someone without legs. . . Does it change who they are? Do these things really matter? Could you do without them? What would happen if you would loose them? What would matter then to you?

The second was a robbery at gunpoint {though we have this feeling those were toy guns, but I don't like being overly courageous :-) }. The jokes aside, in that surreal moment, lying on the ground, and our rights/dignity being oppressed, our possessions being taken by force, I prayed too. I can't recall exactly what was going through my mind, but I was asking for life. Only. Just, life. That was all that mattered to me at that point.

God is good. The way in which this last ordeal ended up was a bright light in a dark tunnel. I still had the keys to the car in my pocket. I still had my wallet. No one was hurt. Everyone was alive and breathing. I don't remember being fearful. I remember having a lot of Faith that the situation would end well.

I sit here, looking at my screen, screening my thoughts, looking for my two cents of words. All I have is my mind, my health - myself. When the rubber meets the road, and it eventually does, what will matter is the quality of life we will have led. Not materially. Never. People, memories, experiences, laughs, tears, passions - these will matter. I think this week has been a test. A very intensifying one. How much am I willing to stand up for the things I do? Am I doing enough to be the best me? Have my talents/strengths been exhausted? Have yours? What are we waiting for?

I am soon arming myself with a violin. Music has been a long time passion of mine. I am taking the steps into this journey that I have been postponing for a very long time. Football till my legs cannot move. Sharing my experiences with other people and being the person who I would want other people to be. I want to express myself a bit more. I need to do the things that I love, more often. All the time. I want to be alive and make the most of these breaths. Some experiences happen for a reason they say. I haven't experienced so much yet. So much. Let's recollect those bad memories in the past. The fearful ones, the sad ones, the times we were brought down to our knees . . . Was there something worth learning there? And even so, let's not focus tooooo much on the past, or the future. How are we dealing with that now?

"Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow."

In the spirit of positivity: “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” - Eckhart Tolle

Dialogue in the near future

Son: "Mom, can you teach me a folk song?
I hear our great grand parents liked humming them,
and waking up with a jembe and a basket in the a.m.
early in the morning to sow seeds into the earth,
is it why you wake up and go to work after the morning bath?
and you come home so tired and downcast,
is that hasty-ness part of the culture?
that was engrained in you by the fore-fathers?
I also hear. . .
Is it true that they killed each other with pangas and fires?
All because of skin color and different attires?
Were they that unconscious of their own reality?
Because they were caught up in small trivial matters?
or were they drawn to the flesh, as a confirmation of their bestiality?
I hear that arts and music were dis-merited, like clothes with tatters. . .
Was the world that lacking in our Kenyan vitality?
And teacher taught us about Jomo Kenyatta,
and Dedan Kimathi and one Tom Mboya,
he said that they were our heroes and brought a light to the manyatta-
A symbol of our culture which with new-found independence
she said,
would bring us good harvest and freedom of self-reliance,
and  then on the news I see a black man fighting in defiance,
as if he did not get a piece of this promised independence cake,
or do I take it to mean that we still have our own rights to take?
as if we are to fight our own individual wars?
I thought that the MAU MAU fought for our humanity that was at stake?
Or was it just a series of battles, won but only for the pause?
And now we have vultures, pressing play without a pause,
playing the same game that the other team was playing,
Mom is it just the same people behind this veil?
And why do so many people seem so frail?
As if their bodies are too weak, to find a way to the peak?
I look at them and they seem so dead, gazing aimlessly as if they have nothing to speak. . .
Mom, when you were young did you ask these questions?
Is it what the old people ask, while surviving on their last pension?
I thought they say time will tell, that's what the old people say,
but old people live in the past, so what would a time machine say?

Mom: (in hushed mummers) "you are too young to understand"

Self giving

I know you missed me. I have been silent. Blame it on adjusting to the Kenyan life and realities. I am back to my motherland, where we have the big five and apparently, "primitive energy" according to some Korean airlines :-) I have been absorbing my trip to Hungary and what I learnt there. Actually this is my first post since I came back.

I am reaching a stage in my life where I want to believe in actions more than words. I mean to say "getting my hands dirty". This kind of defeats my writing attempts, however, my reasons are valid. That said, I have decided to write today to keep you abreast of my most recent thoughts in the hope that through my offerings, I will get to find something that is hidden deep inside me and hopefully find that much needed action.

I will share briefly on giving ourselves to others. We should share ourselves to others because it is the ultimate form of giving, first and foremost. Also, it is a kind gesture and makes the people around us happy. Self-giving, when genuine, offers our best talents/strengths/abilities to others, and hence it also builds us obviously, and most importantly that means we are true to ourselves and others by extension. In this life we chase after so many things. I have a full list on that. As much as my pen usually is eager to tick on these goals, what I have seen matter to me most and given me the most joy was when I was able to share my skills to enable someone else tick their goals. Ideally, if we don't share and we all seclude ourselves permanently to our own selves, then we just remain in islands that are far-fetched.

If the ideal situation is for everyone to be happy, then that means we have to contribute to the happiness of someone else.

What are you doing?

I just watched a video (TEDx: Stephanie Nyombayire - Fighting Poverty, Wars and Famines), which got me a few thoughts to ponder on. Go ahead and look at it when you have the time.

What are we doing today to change our current state/conditions? Everyone here in this world has their own sort of complaints, and issues which they are not comfortable with. Well most people. When we think about these issues, who do we expect to fix them? When do we expect them to be fixed? And we talk a lot. I do. We talk about anything and everything, both young and old people alike. When does the talking/complaining give way to some actual actions? These group of people are even the minority.

The vast majority of humans are caught up and "distracted" by so many things that they even have no idea of the REAL issues. What do I mean when I say real issues? Oh real issues are those things that take humanity back, or societies {humanity sounds so grande, we'll probably need a chuck Norris on that one}. And you know them, they are not that far away. I won't even speak about them because the sort of audience that reads these posts, knows better.

My point: What are we doing now, to make that step? The generalisation here in Hungary is that people are pessimistic, but I think that generalisation applies to the whole world. We complain. And if we don't, we talk. And then we find someone to blame. Then we go back to where it all started. Then it becomes an impoverishing cycle. We need to take control of our lives. We need to stop this mediocrity now. We need to care. We need to come together and help one another to see these concerns addressed. Do something. No matter how small it is.

As I close, I was looking for a Mahatma Gandhi quote that I came across, but its hiding. I will paraphrase: The fruits of our actions isn't what really matters or the outcomes either. We have to do the right thing, now. What matters is that we do the right thing now.

It goes something like that.

Let us just stop for once thinking too much, and do the right thing. For our sake, and everyone else's.